Rejection

I got another one of those “thanks, but no thanks” e-mails the other day. The publisher had previously told me my story was “in the final round” and that “the vast majority of those” with that distinction would end up in their latest anthology. The final insult is that the publisher actually put out a call for additional stories after asking me for my payment info and other details. It’s a legitimate company, so I’m not worried about that, but if they had to ask for more stories and then rejected mine, perhaps they were looking for something to replace mine with!

But I guess I can’t dwell on that. I’ve got more stories to tell. I’m disappointed not to have this particular story told, because it’s one that’s near and dear to my heart. I loved my dad and miss him very much, so I wanted to tell everyone about him. My writers’ group has been very supportive, urging me on. So I went back to the publisher’s website and found two other anthologies I can write stories for. One of them might even be a better fit for the story they rejected.

So I’m back at my keyboard, putting my thoughts down. Just like I’m doing now. And maybe this time one of my stories will be one that is deemed worthy of sharing with everyone!

Goals update:

Writing – I’m working with a marvelous critique group. We meet once a month to read each others’ chapters and discuss them, looking for ways to hone our craft into something we can offer a publisher/agent. This weekend we’re working on our 6^th chapters!

Creativity – I spent five hours with my sewing group on Tuesday, making hats. Last Saturday I spent the day with another group of friends, working on my family scrapbook. Still trying to get my individual projects started so I can clear out some of the fabric in the house!

Health – started on another diet on Monday. Keeping a food journal. Exercising three times a week. So far, so good - another two pounds gone, hopefully for good!

What's Wrong With Me?

Last month I set a seemingly unattainable goal of writing 40,000 words in five weeks. I met and exceeded that goal.

Last month I also set a goal of losing weight. I’ve failed miserably.

Last fall I set out to organize my life (stuff). That’s also in the dumpster. Unfinished (and unstarted) projects are all over the house.

What’s the deal? It seems anything involving sitting in front of a computer is possible. My bills are paid (online), my classwork is caught up (PowerPoint presentations are done, and papers turned in online are graded), and electronic correspondence is caught up. But everything else is in shambles.

So – do I cut the cord? Go Cold Turkey? Or maybe I should take a page from the parenting book – limit time on this machine. Yeah. I can do that. Set a timer when I sit down and turn it off after two hours (the computer, not just the timer). And then I’ll have to get UP to do something – not watch TV, and definitely NOT eat!

Here goes Plan C!

My Dirty Little Secret

My daughter says I’m a hoarder.

Maybe I am. I hate to throw things out. I wonder why. It’s not like we’re hurting and having to pinch pennies. But I’m always afraid that if I throw something out, I’ll be sorry later.

Last week I watched a show on the Discovery Health Channel about Hoarders. There were two shows back to back, and I watched them both hoping I’d get some insight. There was a woman admitted that when she was seven her father burned all her belongings and it really hurt her (apparently she was an army brat and every time she moved she lost her friends, but was able to keep her stuff – until her dad burned it). That sounded like something that would be emotionally scarring. There was another woman who was a hoarder because her dad was one. Both women got professional help to overcome their difficulties.

I’m not afraid of someone taking my “stuff” and burning it. I think my parents like to keep things – their basement and two and a half stall garage are full of things they haven’t used in years and probably won’t use. But I don’t think they’re hoarders. They just have lots of stuff. I have lots of stuff too, but I can’t seem to organize it.

A lot of it is craft stuff. I like to make things, and it always seems like I get a lot more supplies than I need. And I have a lot more stuff than I have time for. But I’m afraid to get rid of it, because SOMEDAY I’m going have time for all these projects.

I just hope I can remember where it all is.

Writing: I finished my 40,000-word challenge – a day early! Tomorrow I find out if I win one of three gift certificates to Barnes and Noble.

Eating: I started a food journal. Things went well for about three days. Tomorrow I’m going to go for five good days in a row. Gotta keep starting over! Still going to the gym regularly.

Creativity: things were pretty much on hold while pursuing the writing challenge. I did manage to make it to my sewing group – I made 25 fleece hats for some of the ministries in West Michigan. Next week should be better! I have some ideas I want to try.

Agghhh!

For the first time in over seven months, I nearly missed a week of blogging! I guess I could blame it on several things – my writing challenge, my classes, and taking care of mom’s emergencies. But I guess that’s really not necessary. Nothing dire is going to happen because I’m almost 24 hours late on my self-imposed deadline for blogging every Friday. The punishment is merely my disappointment in myself.

So here I am hastily attempting to put together a coherent post in the 30 minutes left of this week. Why? I guess there are a couple of reasons. The first is my disappointment in not meeting my weight loss goals. I have lost two pounds in six weeks. Yuk. I’m eating right (most of the time), and exercising (three days a week). What’s the deal? My daughter gave me a stern “talking to” tonight. She’s disappointed in me too. I hate that even more than being disappointed in myself.

I am meeting my writing goals. If I get this online before midnight, I’m meeting my goal of blogging every week. Also, I’m still plugging away at my story, despite the interruptions in my life. But for some reason, the health goal is eluding me. I guess I need to apply the same strategies toward this as I am toward writing. What’s different? I think it’s probably my accountability. On my computer, I keep track of how many words I need to have completed each day, and I don’t go to bed until that many words are in my manuscript. Some of it’s not very well-written, but the words and ideas are there. I’ve also been sharing my word count totals to my facebook and writers’ group friends. They know exactly how I’m doing.

So I guess what I need to do is what every diet (God, I hate that word!) tells me to do: record my intake. Look at evidence of the food I eat. And then cut it down to a reasonable amount.

Tomorrow starts another week. Let the accountability begin.

Keeping the Blaze

I think the tradition of making resolutions is a good one. It encourages us to make good changes in our lives. All too often they last a few weeks, a few days, or even a few hours. But once in a while a challenge becomes a way of life. How do we keep the fire burning?

I have two resolutions – to write more, and weigh less. For me, keeping those resolutions is a matter of scheduling. I have to make time in my day for these things. Sometimes it’s hard, and there’s also the ADHD thing. I have a really hard time doing anything for a long period of time. It would be so nice if I could just check into the Biggest Loser Ranch, and bring my laptop so I could write between workouts! But that’s not going to happen.

So, I need more incentive. My writers’ group offered the challenge or writing 40,000 words in 35 days. Three lucky writers who meet that goal will get gift certificates to Barnes and Noble. I love to read. Plus I love a challenge. Originally I thought I would be doing well to make half that number, but to my amazement I’ve been keeping up – I’ve already got more than 24,000 words now! At this rate, I’ll have a new novel finished by summer. So the fire is definitely stoked there. My house is more of a mess than usual, and a lot of other stuff is getting neglected, but I’M WRITING!!

The losing weight resolution is a bit sticky. My meals are definitely healthier. I joined the gym and have been going three days a week. But there’s one monkey wrench in this whole thing: I LOVE CHOCOLATE!!!! And I have difficulty throwing away perfectly good food. I did give a bunch of it to my daughter, but a few pieces remain. Still, I’ve lost a few pounds. Not nearly enough to suit my 110-pound mother, or my doctor, but it’s a start. Maybe I need Jillian or Bob breathing down my back.

As I mentioned, a lot of things are sliding around here because I’m busy writing 1143 words or more each day. And working, and studying, and eating and sometimes sleeping. The only sewing I managed to do this week was to shorten three pairs of pants. I guess that counts for something – my husband and my daughter aren’t tripping over their hems!

Retro Week

Last week several of my facebook friends and I participated in “Retro Week” and used pictures from long ago as our profile pictures. It was fun to see them and compare them to the way we look now. Some of the people I’ve known for most of my life had pictures that looked the way I remember them in school. Were we ever that young?

I scanned my kindergarten picture and used that for my profile picture. It got quite a reaction from my friends. My daughter’s reaction was “Mom, your eyes look so big!” My first response was that my face was a lot smaller, so of course my eyes (which, as I recently read, never change in size) look bigger. But then I started to think about the fact that as a youngster, I had a “wide eyed” innocence about life.

There is a tendency to look at pictures and times past and remember with longing “the Good Old Days” of our youth. We had our health, our energy, our dreams. What would we do differently if we could go back? It’s an interesting question. I’m not sure I would want to answer that. I had a great childhood. I went to college and had a career. I married and had children. There’s not a lot I’ve wanted that I haven’t had to some degree. Sure, it would be nice to have enough cash to not worry about how bills are paid, or to redecorate the house, but at least I have a house, and it’s warm and comfortable.

Were the Good Old Days really good? You bet. Do I want them back? No way. I’m enjoying what I have now. These gray hairs and wrinkles are badges of honor. I’ve earned every one of them. The past can stay in the past. I’m enjoying the present, and try not to worry too much about the future. I’ll probably cause my kids enough worry someday – as they say, turnabout is fair play!

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Writing report: I’m actually managing to write the requisite 1143 words a day! I’m at 1800 words – a full day ahead of schedule! This is shaping up as a great story – gotta keep working.

Creativity report: More quilt tops made. I also got a bunch of free fabric from a friend. The plan is to make a bunch of jammie pants for the females in my family. Maybe after the writing challenge is done?

Health report: Made it to the gym this week – a little sore, but feeling good. I’ve gotta go again tomorrow. The diet is not going so well. I REALLY like bread and cheese and chocolate …

A New Semester

This week GVSU started its Winter 2010 semester. I’m teaching the same course as last semester, so I’m hoping things will go as smoothly as it did in the fall. I really enjoy working with future teachers. Most are eager to learn, and cooperate with my requests with a minimum of fuss.

I’m also attending another semester of Japanese language. I’m getting so excited about my summer trip to visit my relatives, and I’m hoping I’ll be able to communicate (or at least understand!) a lot more than I did the last time I was there. Eventually I’d love to go and visit the places I’m writing about – far to the north, where my dad’s mother came from.

It seems the more I learn about the land of my heritage, the more curious I am. I relished my US and European history courses long ago, but I didn’t spend much time learning about Japan. Now I spend a lot of time looking up things just to verify that the events in my story could have happened, but lots of the information I need isn’t available in English. That makes me more and more determined to learn.

I feel so fortunate to be so close to a campus like GVSU, and to have a connection with it. I never expected to be a “college professor”, and I never thought I’d be a student at my age. But this is where my life’s path has led me, and I’m enjoying every step of the journey.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

On the writing front – with a goal of 40K words in 35 days, 1143 words per day, I am actually one day ahead! The story is coming along nicely, even taking me on unexpected journeys. My very patient hubby tries very hard not to talk to me when I’m typing – mostly because he knows he’s unlikely to get a coherent response, or an irritated glare if he does.

On the creative front – I’ve made several quilt tops to take to my sewing group next week! Most of them were made before I started the writing challenge.

On the health front – I’ve only lost two pounds so far. A massive cold sidelined me last week, and this week my knees are killing me. But I made it to my consultation. I’m doing well eating low-fat, and there are countless recipes available in magazines, online, and in the super-duper book my children gave me for Christmas. I guess my downfall is chocolate. There’s lots of leftover Christmas candy here. Gotta get rid of it! Hershey Kiss, anyone?