Monday night I stayed up until 11:30 at night. That's not unreasonably late, except that I had been awake since 3 AM that day. As usual I had an extremely long "to do" list including several items to prepare for the next day. Instead, I watched TV. I watched a clone of "Hoarding: Buried Alive" on the new OWN network, and then switched to HGTV to watch "Holmes on Homes" and "House Hunters". Before I knew it, I was long overdue to get to bed. I overslept, and had a really difficult time getting ready for my sewing group and then work. Nothing was where I thought it should be, and I was an hour late getting to where I should have been. Not a good start to the day.
So of course all day Tuesday I regretted all the television watching. I should have been gathering the things I needed for the following day, making my checklist, filling up my bag, laying out my clothes, etc. But instead I watched television. I felt like such a failure.
But then again, I really don't watch that much TV. Shouldn't I be entitled to have a few hours of relaxation?
I ALWAYS have things that need to be done. And some of it never gets done - like deep cleaning and organizing. That's why I have a messy house. There are some things that MUST be done - preparation for classes, putting away laundry, paying bills, etc. There are things that SHOULD be done – checking on mom, recycling, eating more vegetables, and exercising. And there are things that I WANT to get done - sewing quilts, writing this blog. There are more "want tos" than there is time for. Logically, these should be at the bottom of the list - the last things to get finished, after the "must dos" and the “should dos”.
But the truth is, if I never get to the "want to" list, the quality of life diminishes. So I indulge once in a while. And for some reason, I still need rest. So relaxation becomes a "must". Granted, three hours of television is a bit excessive. If I had been wise, I would have watched maybe one or two hours, and then gone back to work on the "must do" list - or even better, gone to bed so that I wouldn't have slept in the next day!
Time management seems to be my nemesis. Maybe that's a good New Year resolution. For next year.