Changing Faces

Things change. It’s a fact of life. Everyone knows it, and we expect it. Still, it seems when we leave a place and return later, we’re taken by surprise when we actually see the changes. This week I experienced that surprise twice. Both experiences involved schools in my life.

I heard through a former teacher that the elementary school I attended was closing down due to budget cuts in the district, and on Wednesday there was an open house for past and present students, parents, and staff. I picked up my mom and we went to the little building where I started my school life. The outside of the building looked the same, but the inside was so different. How did we ever operate without computers? A scrapbook in the gym had old newspaper clippings and PTA programs printed out on blue ink from the old “ditto” machine. The hallways were the same, but the classrooms had been updated. I saw a few familiar faces – more deeply lined, framed by hair much lighter than I remembered.

Yesterday I went to a retirement party for a former colleague at the school district where I spent 28 years as a teacher. The gathering took place in the administration building, which had been rebuilt since my time there. That was a change I expected. The boardroom was decorated to reflect the colorful, energetic personality of the kindergarten teacher who was now stepping down to pursue other interests. There were unfamiliar faces, which I also expected. After all, I’ve been retired five years, and people come and go. But it was surprising to see the number of faces I didn’t recognize.

What is it that makes us expect things to stay the same when we’re not there, when we’re able to accept change when it takes place in front of us? Some change is good – my friend will now have time to invest in his antiquing business, and at least one younger teacher will have her job because he’s leaving. Some change is sad – the kids who attended South Godwin Elementary will have to go to a different school in the fall. But they will cope, and continue to learn in a new place.

And I will continue to be surprised and amazed at the changes, both good and bad.

Family Traditions

Traditions are important. They serve as anchors in the dizziness of our lives. But sometimes traditions change, and we need to make room for new ones. Sometimes we need time to assimilate the new, and make adjustments before we can embrace them the way we did the old traditions.

For years, Christmas Day was spent at my parents’ house. We would rise early and open presents here, eat a nice breakfast, and then finish wrapping gifts for the cousins who would also make their way to grandma and grandpa’s cozy little home. We’d have a delicious Christmas dinner, all the while gazing at the enormous pile of gifts stacked under the seven-foot tree. And then chaos would reign as six little girls ripped open their gifts. As the girls grew older, the girlish giggles settled into cries of delight. Last year a male voice joined in as my parents embraced my son-in-law as a long awaited grandson.

This is our first Christmas without Dad. Mom isn’t up to hosting the annual celebration by herself, so my brother and his wife took over. For the first time, the menu included some great takeout pizza and assorted munches contributed by all of us. The cousins gathered around a different tree in a different living room, opening gifts they had chosen for each other rather than things their grandparents and parents selected. We enjoyed games like “Catch Phrase”, “Buzzwords”, and “Bananagrams” and I marveled at the intelligence and wit of my daughters and nieces.

The celebration took place three days ago because our daughter and her husband left to spend the holiday with her in-laws. Mom is spending a few days with my brother, and our other daughter is with her boyfriend’s family. So this Christmas Day is a very quiet “pajama day” for the two of us. I hope to get a lot of writing done. Mark is trying out a new recipe for dinner. It seems odd, waking up on Christmas Day to quietness, no gifts under the tree, and no place to go. But this is nice. I think it’s going to be like this every other year, since the kids intend to alternate holidays with us – one year we get them for Thanksgiving, the next year we get them for Christmas. That’s fair, and I’m happy they’ve worked out a plan. It’ll take a little while to get used to it, and adjustments will probably happen, but as long as we make the effort, we’ll find our way to some great new traditions.

Merry Christmas to all!